Weekend Blues
Holy cow! I haven't had such a blue weekend for months. Not sure where it came from really. I handled the Thursday divorce proceedings well (his divorce, not mine, as you all know...LOL). That day I was happy for him, although sad that he was sad but not because it had anything to do with his ex-wife. I mean, he may have been sad for what he could've had with her, I understand that, but it doesn't make me think he wants to be with me any less... if that makes sense. I KNOW he loves me, I have no doubt that he feels our love is stronger than his EVER was with her, I have never felt so secure about a love in my life... So my feelings around it were joy, he could move on now like he really hasn't been able to do for 4 years.
The rest of the weekend was blah. I woke up in a funk both Saturday and Sunday. I read a bit on Saturday, he started working on a project, I went back to bed but finally had to literally drag my a$$ up to go to the gym. If you know me at all, you would know that I love going to the gym so the fact that it was a chore was a problem. M would say I was in 'bad form'. Yes, I was. I finally made it to the gym and did my workout and it DID cheer me up a bit. Sunday though, I woke with the same feeling of blah. Which got better during the day but still...
I've come to the conclusion that I need to get 'doing'. I need to get out and get meeting people. I go to the gym, okay. Not too many people chatting with me at the gym. I finally went to talk with someone about a volunteer position at the Dublin PSCA (animal shelter - I start next Monday). And I'm going to seriously start looking for a job. I realize I need to work. I need to meet some people and I need to have some income. I need to do something because I am one of those people who, when faced with a lot of time on her hands, has a hard time getting anything done. When I'm busy, I seem to be able to fit everything in. I'm more organized, less lazy. I need that. So, I'm getting motivated. It's time. No more excuses. I need it for my peace of mind.
The rest of the weekend was blah. I woke up in a funk both Saturday and Sunday. I read a bit on Saturday, he started working on a project, I went back to bed but finally had to literally drag my a$$ up to go to the gym. If you know me at all, you would know that I love going to the gym so the fact that it was a chore was a problem. M would say I was in 'bad form'. Yes, I was. I finally made it to the gym and did my workout and it DID cheer me up a bit. Sunday though, I woke with the same feeling of blah. Which got better during the day but still...
I've come to the conclusion that I need to get 'doing'. I need to get out and get meeting people. I go to the gym, okay. Not too many people chatting with me at the gym. I finally went to talk with someone about a volunteer position at the Dublin PSCA (animal shelter - I start next Monday). And I'm going to seriously start looking for a job. I realize I need to work. I need to meet some people and I need to have some income. I need to do something because I am one of those people who, when faced with a lot of time on her hands, has a hard time getting anything done. When I'm busy, I seem to be able to fit everything in. I'm more organized, less lazy. I need that. So, I'm getting motivated. It's time. No more excuses. I need it for my peace of mind.
posted by grrltraveler at Monday, November 22, 2004
3 Comments:
Hugs... I'm the same way, if it's any consolation. I have to have a lot on my plate to be effective.
PS- I removed my comments from your other blog entry because it occured to me that I used your name! Sheesh, old habits die hard!
I hope you're out of the gray clouds soon...
xoxo
Oooh sounds like me. Give me time and I'll get nothing done. Give me a deadline and I'll have everything done well before time.
As for the blues, I dunno. I had a great weekend with the boy, but last night I was just feeling completely disconnected from things. I don't know why. But I ended up in tears at 2am with him wondering where my brain went. I haven't had a good conversation with him in a few days. Maybe that's it.
The animal shelter should be a great place to volunteer. I would totally do that if I didn't think I'd want to bring every little furry thing home with me. :-p
What is with all of us going "blah" at the same time? As I told E, I actually woke mine up in the middle of the night on Friday to ask for attention because I was perilously close to tears.
Meanwhile, I'm glad for you that you have a "thing" to look forward to in the volunteering. I know when I'm off work for an extended period for my illnesses it makes me seriously crazy.
hugs,
R
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