Most convincing argument for/against having children
So, it's been what 5 days now? Not too bad but ready to move on. It's hard spending every day with someone with children (child, in this case) because you just can't move as easily as you can without. For someone who has never had children, planning a schedule around a child becomes tedious even though in the back of mind, I understand the necessity. The fact is, I'm selfish. LOL
My niece is really cute. I have to say that. But the reality is that she is TWO. Two and a few months. And she's one of these 'active' kids, which means she is never sitting still. Ok, right now she's having a nap but when she wakes up, she'll be running through the apartment, climbing and jumping off the furniture (glad I don't live downstairs!) and probably shrieking a bit. I know, I know... this is what they DO. But it can be exhausting. Once again, I'm glad M is coming next week and we are taking off. He'd never deal with this and well, I guess a week is enough for me too. I'm sure it would be different if I'd had kids and have something to compare it to. Maybe.
She's going through a phase where she wants mommy all the time. I know this is a phase they go through, it might even be a long phase. I watched my sister-in-law yesterday in the car, with a sinus headache, trying to placate my niece who wanted her to read every book in the car. No one else would do. Well, someone else probably would do but she (my SIL) doesn't let anyone take over. I don't know if that's the right phrase but it seems like because she's been doing it all by herself this whole time, she's in a place where now NO one can help her. Does that make any sense?
Anyhow, I don't know if I could handle that phase... I don't think I could deal with someone needing me every minute of every day. I know if I think about it too much, I'll never have kids. In fact, I may already be at that point. I see why people do it, I enjoy them on the happy moments but I MAY be too selfish to give up that much of myself. Gosh, that sounds awful, doesn't it? Ah well. It's a reality. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I get all wistful thinking about M and I having a little squirt of our own, especially the longer I stay away from spending loads of time with kids. LOL
Ok, I know you've heard it all before from me... but there it is again. LOL
My niece is really cute. I have to say that. But the reality is that she is TWO. Two and a few months. And she's one of these 'active' kids, which means she is never sitting still. Ok, right now she's having a nap but when she wakes up, she'll be running through the apartment, climbing and jumping off the furniture (glad I don't live downstairs!) and probably shrieking a bit. I know, I know... this is what they DO. But it can be exhausting. Once again, I'm glad M is coming next week and we are taking off. He'd never deal with this and well, I guess a week is enough for me too. I'm sure it would be different if I'd had kids and have something to compare it to. Maybe.
She's going through a phase where she wants mommy all the time. I know this is a phase they go through, it might even be a long phase. I watched my sister-in-law yesterday in the car, with a sinus headache, trying to placate my niece who wanted her to read every book in the car. No one else would do. Well, someone else probably would do but she (my SIL) doesn't let anyone take over. I don't know if that's the right phrase but it seems like because she's been doing it all by herself this whole time, she's in a place where now NO one can help her. Does that make any sense?
Anyhow, I don't know if I could handle that phase... I don't think I could deal with someone needing me every minute of every day. I know if I think about it too much, I'll never have kids. In fact, I may already be at that point. I see why people do it, I enjoy them on the happy moments but I MAY be too selfish to give up that much of myself. Gosh, that sounds awful, doesn't it? Ah well. It's a reality. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I get all wistful thinking about M and I having a little squirt of our own, especially the longer I stay away from spending loads of time with kids. LOL
Ok, I know you've heard it all before from me... but there it is again. LOL
posted by grrltraveler at Sunday, May 15, 2005
11 Comments:
Oh you should see the length of the comment I started to leave...so I turned it into a post, and after an hour I wasn't done so I've put it in draft and I'll finish it later, lol.
I was going to come back and comment after I finished it, but now it's taken so long that I thought it's better to leave a comment now explaining why no comment! lol
hugs
Randy
I absolutely adored being a mom, really, but I have to admit that there were times that I'd have to lock myself in the bathroom for a while because they were driving me bat shit. It was the only room with a lock that their chubby little hands couldn't open. ;)
At this age, I can't even fathom being a mom. But I can fathom being a grandma and taking the kids for a weekend. I've always loved babies and little kids. I just don't have the energy to keep up with them now.
when i was your age (oh, gawd that makes me sound old) i was in a dreadfully unhappy marriage, raising 2 kids against the odds. you're traveling the world and doing exciting things with your life.
i love my kids. they are my life. but - i could not IMAGINE doing it again! when i met my D, i wasn't thrilled that his daughter was NINE! i'd JUST gotten through those years with my kids! i love her, though. BUT, she doesn't live with us full time.
one thing - i'm sure you've heard this a million times: it's different when they're your own. it's amazing the kind of love and bond you can have with your own child.
2 cents. ho hum...
~Anonymous G
heheh well of course I couldn't let this one go. When we go to the boy's sister's house, there's a minimum of 4 kids, sometimes 6 (7, 7, 5, 4, 3, 1). Add that to the number of adults that are around and I start to seriously go a bit nuts. I NEED my space!
As much as I really enjoy A being with us, I honestly don't think I could handle him full time. I LIKE that it's only every second weekend, because it makes me appreciate my time alone and it confirms that I've made the right decision NOT to have kids of my own.
I make a conscious effort to separate myself from the group when it gets too much for me. I know C understands, but I do feel bad sometimes...but none of them are my kids or my responsibility.
I'm sooo not used to kids. In a way, I guess I get the best of both worlds...I can choose to be social with A when we have him, or I can let the boys do their stuff alone, so I don't go insane. Not sure I could handle it if I could never 'escape'.
LOL guess that's my long winded way of saying, "I hear ya!".
Weeeelll, I went ahead and did the single mom thing when the opportunity arose, never really having been around kids... and while I wouldn't trade him in for all the world, I'm with RG... there are times when "Ben" gets sent to his room just so *I* get a time out.
While I don't have any children of my own, I did help to raise stepchildren. I agree that there are many times where a break is needed. I never understood that before I had the kids around, but I certainly caught on quickly to the need for *me time*
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Not sure where to post this but I wanted to ask if anyone has heard of National Clicks?
Can someone help me find it?
Overheard some co-workers talking about it all week but didn't have time to ask so I thought I would post it here to see if someone could help me out.
Seems to be getting alot of buzz right now.
Thanks
Especially withCathline and John hanging around Cairo for a week. If hescrews her, our chances with Bessie will be foreverscrewed.
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Especially withCathline and John hanging around Cairo for a week. If hescrews her, our chances with Bessie will be foreverscrewed.
So we could go on our own romanticinterludes, usually to be interrupted by some emergency back home. I put the camera ina duffle bag and head into the bar.
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So we could go on our own romanticinterludes, usually to be interrupted by some emergency back home. I put the camera ina duffle bag and head into the bar.
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