It's time to move on
I'm not really a fan of the holidays, at the best of times. I like to do things and see people and sitting home because most places are closed.... well, it starts to get to me. They get a lot more days off for the holidays than we would in the States. I suppose if I was working, I'd love the break. Right now, it just seems a bit to be dragging on.
(I hate the fact that that whole paragraph sounded whiney. I mean, i didn't lose everything I owned or everyone I loved in a tsunami. i have no right to whine.)
I haven't been doing much. That's for sure. Haven't been writing in my blog even though I had plenty of time. I don't know why. I guess being frustrated with myself and my lack of accomplishing has come up again. I wanted the new year to start and my mood to improve before I came on and wrote! Ah well.
So, we had the little houseguest. Here she is:
I hope that worked. She was a lovely little thing. We had her for 6 days... She was pretty quiet at first but slowly started to feel more and more comfortable. (meaning: she got up and down off the couch whether we wanted her to or not!). The second day, M went out and bought her a bone. It was good, kept her occupied, especially when we needed to keep her out of the room (she wanted to eat our food, drink our wine, our beer, etc). The third day I started noticing holes dug up all over the back garden. Then I started to notice myself being annoyed for the holes in the garden. The days passed. Sometimes she was cute and loveable, sometimes she drove me nuts. By the last day, everytime she sat with me, she would be biting (puppy bites) my arm, my shoe, anything that wasn't nailed down in the house, the leg on the kitchen table. I knew I couldn't deal with much more. I liked her but she drove me bonkers. She disrupted my order in the house - the garden and the house are the only thing I have control over and she was messing it up. And I realized then, painfully, that it's possible I was not cut out to have a dog. It crushed me. I cried more over that than actually bringing her back, although that made us both very sad. I felt very cruel leaving her in. Like what kind of people were we that we didn't adopt her.
Even now, I find myself saying 'well, if she was going to stay, things would be different. we'd have a dog run. we'd train her. we'd figure out someway she could be outside while we were away from the house.' I do believe that. I don't want to believe that I'm not cut-out to be a pet owner. Frankly, after this whole experience, I was starting to wonder if I was cut-out to be a parent. That feeling has started to subside a bit but it's there in the back of my mind.
So, besides having the dog over, we didn't do too much. We had a lovely Cmas and New Years, nothing to write about though. We didn't do anything spectacular. Just your normal run of the mill, family event. Quiet. Relaxing. It was great.
Last but not least. I booked my flight home for February. I'm taking that time off with my friend in Maui. I may extend it and see my parents, as I haven't heard anything on the job front. But I'm definitely going to Maui. I need it. I'll write more later..
Goodnight.
(I hate the fact that that whole paragraph sounded whiney. I mean, i didn't lose everything I owned or everyone I loved in a tsunami. i have no right to whine.)
I haven't been doing much. That's for sure. Haven't been writing in my blog even though I had plenty of time. I don't know why. I guess being frustrated with myself and my lack of accomplishing has come up again. I wanted the new year to start and my mood to improve before I came on and wrote! Ah well.
So, we had the little houseguest. Here she is:
I hope that worked. She was a lovely little thing. We had her for 6 days... She was pretty quiet at first but slowly started to feel more and more comfortable. (meaning: she got up and down off the couch whether we wanted her to or not!). The second day, M went out and bought her a bone. It was good, kept her occupied, especially when we needed to keep her out of the room (she wanted to eat our food, drink our wine, our beer, etc). The third day I started noticing holes dug up all over the back garden. Then I started to notice myself being annoyed for the holes in the garden. The days passed. Sometimes she was cute and loveable, sometimes she drove me nuts. By the last day, everytime she sat with me, she would be biting (puppy bites) my arm, my shoe, anything that wasn't nailed down in the house, the leg on the kitchen table. I knew I couldn't deal with much more. I liked her but she drove me bonkers. She disrupted my order in the house - the garden and the house are the only thing I have control over and she was messing it up. And I realized then, painfully, that it's possible I was not cut out to have a dog. It crushed me. I cried more over that than actually bringing her back, although that made us both very sad. I felt very cruel leaving her in. Like what kind of people were we that we didn't adopt her.
Even now, I find myself saying 'well, if she was going to stay, things would be different. we'd have a dog run. we'd train her. we'd figure out someway she could be outside while we were away from the house.' I do believe that. I don't want to believe that I'm not cut-out to be a pet owner. Frankly, after this whole experience, I was starting to wonder if I was cut-out to be a parent. That feeling has started to subside a bit but it's there in the back of my mind.
So, besides having the dog over, we didn't do too much. We had a lovely Cmas and New Years, nothing to write about though. We didn't do anything spectacular. Just your normal run of the mill, family event. Quiet. Relaxing. It was great.
Last but not least. I booked my flight home for February. I'm taking that time off with my friend in Maui. I may extend it and see my parents, as I haven't heard anything on the job front. But I'm definitely going to Maui. I need it. I'll write more later..
Goodnight.
posted by grrltraveler at Sunday, January 02, 2005
2 Comments:
This may sound really weird, but raising kids was much easier for me than having dogs. Yeah- seriously. Maybe it's easier to be paitent with kids than dogs. I love dogs, but I had the same issues that you did and I'd get really frustrated and want them to go away. Never felt that with the kids.
After my dog died last year, I have had no desire to replace her. I loved her to pieces, but it was a lot of work.
So... this is just my way of saying, don't be so hard on yourself.
I swear I had something more interesting to say, but then I had a 2 hour long happy chat with B and it went out of my head. So until I remember, I'll just say...I love my dog to pieces, but I will NOT be having children. I think people put too much interrelation on the two. After all, with kids you get to a point where you can say "go do the dishes" or "because I said so" and that's that. With dogs it's pretty much one word and newspaper to the nose. Besides, with kids, you've got 9 months to prepare your environment. With this you had a couple days? Maybe?
Thinking of ya, I'll be back soon for more insightful commentary.
hugs,
R
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