Pleasant side effect of having a successful relationship

I mentioned at the end of my last post that I was going to write about my dad. We email almost daily, he currently is sending me notes in spanish (he's Chilean and fluent), maybe because he teaches it at the Senior Center in Oceanside.. I don't know why.

Anyhow, I know I've mentioned a bit about my father. My family was very 'normal' but my dad was (it seemed to me) very critical. I think I am right about that because my brother still doesn't spend too much time alone with my dad to this day and I think it's related to that. So it was all of us. But as I got older, I realized that it was the way he got treated himself, by his mother. It didn't make things any easier, I had still been bruised and battered by the negativity when I was growing up. I can look back and see it for what it was but for the longest time, I could never reconcile myself to being close to my dad. He just never seemed proud of me, never seemed satisfied with how I lived my life and no matter how much I said it didn't matter, somehow, it did.

I always felt closer to my mom, she was easier to talk to and she never let her own opinion get in the way (if that's the right word) of letting me live my life. Every silly thing I did, every relationship I had, quitting my job to travel the world... she really seemed to keep things to herself, give me a bit of advice and let me spread my wings and fly, so to speak. I hope I can be the same kind of mother if I ever have children. I always thought I had a better relationship with my mom. Certainly I can talk to her about most things, still to this day. I know she won't judge me.

I can't put my finger on whether it was my year off to travel or meeting/dating M that changed my relationship with my father. I'd say it was a combination of both probably. I find it so weird now, to even talk about it. M has made me see how much myself and my dad are alike. That could be good at times, sometimes it was painful but it was always true. My dad loves to travel and he loves to do it alone, like I did. We both have a passion for convertible cars, that could only be satiated by owning one. We are both athletic and love nothing more to walk on the beach, hike in the mountains, walk around the neighborhood (M happens to love this too, as well as the travel thing). There are so many other things we share. M made me see that my dad was proud of my decision to take the bull by the horns and change my life with travel. He compliments me in the presence of M much more than I ever remember experiencing in my life. I'm a great driver, I speak good Spanish, I'm a good cook, whatever. It's weird to me. I'm still getting used to it.

I'm getting used to getting a sweet thing in my email (un abrazo fuerte por ti - a strong hug for you) or his asking for my help in putting his trip to Ireland together. I get almost daily emails, always something to make me laugh. We don't talk on the phone much (when I call home, my dad always puts me on to my mom because he knows she'll fill him in on everything later) but when we do, his voice is always a lot nicer than i remember it. Even when he has his critical tone or his aggravated tone, somehow I've learned to separate myself from it and still have a conversation with him. Don't get me wrong, I rise to the occasion plenty. I can't help it, we have that record playing for years... LOL But M has really helped me to see how much he loves me (my dad, that is) and it's one of those things that you can't put back once you see it. It's an amazing feeling. I never thought I'd be saying that I love my dad. As well as my mom, that is. They've given me every opportunity, I have to say. And they are definitely supportive of what I'm doing here (well, I've never felt that they weren't being supportive, I should say). What more can a girl ask for?