It's snowing, it's snowing....

Christmas morning and it's lightly snowing. M says they haven't had snow at Christmas for years... I think it's a good omen. LOL

I love the sight of fresh snow and snow falling. Probably won't like it so much a little later today when all the nutso's start driving in it but for now, it's peaceful and serene and well, white...

Happy day to you all.

We have a little houseguest

M always asks when I am bringing a puppy home for a few days. I told him I probably couldn't do it, as they probably want the dogs to be available for adoption. But I was talking to one of the girls at the DSPCA and she told me about a little one who might need a little foster care over the holidays.

Lucy (we've named her, since she does not have a name) is a young springer spaniel (I'll take her photo and post it later) with a little metal rod in her backleg. I guess they picked her up after being hit by a car and shattering her leg. She'd been mostly in isolation but had just moved into the kennels last week or so. Since the DSPCA is closed over Christmas, we brought her home yesterday. She's lovely and is settling in nicely.

It's been fun to see her getting progressively more comfortable here, moving from room to room now, hopping up on the couch to watch tv with me. M's had dogs more recently than I and he's a big softie. He already doesn't want to let her go back.

I was joking this morning because he heard her in the middle of the night whimpering and went downstairs to let her out (I didn't even know but he got up, which woke me up), about us having kids and him being the one to get up in the middle of the night because I'll be fast asleep. I'm sure my ability to sleep soundly will disappear if we ever have children, won't it?

Anyhow, I'll keep you all posted on what happens. We are heading over to M's parents house tomorrow for Cmas dinner and gifts. Pretty mellow, really. Just the way I like things.

Happy holidays to you all. Be safe and happy this day - you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Public service announcements in Ireland

Another thing that I've found interesting is their graphic advertisements for drink driving or smoking. Or even texting. The texting one is great. Well, not great but just the fact that there's an advertisement about texting is great.

There's a young girl and boy. Each are walking separately with their friends, texting each other about where they are going to meet after school. In the background, this sappy song 'I'm gonna walk you home' or something like that is playing. There's lots of laughter, each group of friends is laughing, you see the boy see the girl across the street, as he's texting her, he steps off the curb, he looks up and smiles and a truck plows into him, right in front of his girlfriend. It's an advert for...hmm.. i couldn't tell you. Maybe it's paying attention while you text? To be honest, I can't remember.

Another one, shows a small boy playing soccer in his front yard. He's kicking a ball into the net. Switches over to an older boy - 19 or so - playing soccer with his friends, then going out for a pint or two and having a laugh. He seems like a good guy, nice looking, having a bit of craic (as they say, aka fun). Back to the kid playing soccer in his front yard. same cheery, innocuous music in the background. You see the teenager get in his car, he's driving along a country road, singing to the song, he hits the curb and then another car and his car turns over into the little boys yard. You don't actually see the little boy get hit but you see a flower on the screen get it's flower cut off abruptly, as if referring to the little boy being 'cut down'. Then the dad runs out to the little boy, lying dead in the yard and the teenager gets out of the car. It has something to do with the shame of drink driving. It's so in-your-face. I don't know if they work but I know I'm always taken aback by them.

I'll leave it at that. Two is enough for one day, isn't it?

Some interesting facts about Dublin

I have to giggle about this first one, everytime I think of it.

You don't get a 'ride' someplace here, you get a 'lift'. If you ask a man if you can get a ride, they might scream 'yes!' and jump up and down for joy. This means sex to the Irish male. Now if you really do want a 'ride', well it's as easy as saying so. LOL

The mailman walks here, delivering his mail. I love that. I love seeing him with his bag slung over his shoulder, walking from house to house and putting the mail in the slot in the door. Maybe it's just because I'm home. I get to see him.
Maybe he does this somewhere in the States but not where I lived in California - he was always in a truck.

As you know, I've been working at the animal shelter. Doing data entry but it's fun. There are about 10 dogs that wander about the office, sweet guys that come up to me as I'm sitting at the desk and put their heads on my thighs for a scratch. Sometimes I can't do any work as I've two heads on my two thighs, getting a scratch with both hands. Kind of hard to use the computer with no hands. LOL Recently, we've gotten a little orange and white kitty who has lost an eye. I havent heard the story but his left eye is gone. He still tears around the office like a bat outta hell, usually at an angle but not the angle you'd expect if he wanted to see out of his good eye better. He's pretty entertaining and they call him Spinach. Cute.

Besides that, in the time I've been there, they told me they don't home puppies or kitties during the month of December. Apparently, people come in to get the animals as gifts and then they are usually returned after Christmas. I couldn't believe that.. I have to wonder if the States are the same, I'm sure they must be but never noticed because I haven't worked for this organization there.

After looking at R's post about Christmas in SF, I wanted to post some photos of Dublin. New photos. The sun was shining and the sky was a beautiful blue but by the time I went out for photos, the clouds were rolling in gray. Ah well, another time. There will plenty of time for that, I'm sure.

Oh, another oddity of this country, I was telling my mom the other day. As many of you know it's a Catholic country, you don't see much notice about condoms on TV or anything for protection against STDs or pregnancy but there is a 'morning after' clinic open on Sundays (earlier hours these days) for those girls who had a bit too much to drink and had unprotected sex on Saturday night. Seems a bit odd to treat these girls after the fact but oh well. It's good to keep your head buried in the sand I guess.

Hmm. That's all for now. I was going to start on the graphic advertisements on TV but I decided I'll put that in a different blog. Stay tuned.

There's something in the air

As far as my last post is concerned, I actually have spoken to M about the issues. He knows and he still gets frustrated with me. I like R's suggestion and maybe it's something I can try.. it hasn't popped up again.. yet!

So, I've had a wild week. Ok, not wild but there's some unusual things brewing. One of my girl friends in SF (who hasn't talked to me in weeks, online or otherwise) sent me an email inviting me to go to Maui on an all-expense paid, 6 days at the Ritz Carlton with her. All I have to do is get to SF (I found out I can use airline miles) and unfortunately I'd miss M's birthday. But he said I need this, he wants me to go and he is really excited for me. It's some honor that she received for work - there's massages and pampering galore involved and I already had started planning for my holiday (stop in SF, visit friends for a few days, fly to Maui, back to SF, down to see my parents in Oceanside and get a few more rays, then home).

Then I got onto IM.

Two guys that I used to work with started chatting with me immediately. One was my old boss and the other, his European counterpart, whom I've met. Anyhow, they both started asking me if I was still looking for work, that they may need me to work in Scotland! We have an office there and apparently the IT guy started diverting copies of the HR managers email to his own (amongst other key people in the European offices) - actually starting is the wrong word, they've been doing it for a couple years but they just recently included some others. He was found out because an employee sent an email to one of these key people asking for an acknowledgement that it was read or received. Its an automatic thing so once you open the email, the reply is sent to the sender. So the sender received 2 acknowledgements and there was some investigation. And now there is a vacancy in our Edinburgh office. And an unemployed IT administrator (I did the same job as this guy, only in CA) looking for a job. It would be temporary (3 months maybe?) if it works out. I could work 3 days there and 2 days from home here in Dublin! I'm veeeerrrrry excited about this.

Now I just have to include the fact that I have a trip planned (that cannot be cancelled!) and I'll get the best of both worlds hopefully. Any ideas how I might make this work out? I mean telling my boss, if they offer me the job. I don't want it to be something I can get out of, so I need a good reason. ;) Unfortunately, the Maui and Scotland are quite a few times zones apart so I can't imagine working remotely from Maui. :)

The elephant in the room

I guess it's not really any an elephant. I mean, it's a problem and we've noticed it. We aren't ignoring it or anything, but I am definitely at a loss of how to proceed. Normally, therapy or something I've learned from therapy would help at this point but I'm not going and I can't find my own solution at this point.

I guess before I get started, I should give a little background. All of you have mentioned alot about yourselves, your past, on these blogs and I've kind of hidden here behind the monitor. I don't talk about my past much. Mostly because I've found, for me, that if I don't write or talk about it, I make it through the day a lot happier person. I used to journal incessantly. I journalled (sp?) since I was 15 years old. And I was very unhappy most of that time. I don't know if there's a correlation but I'm not so unhappy now. I don't get so depressed and my outlook is pretty good.

Now, don't get me wrong. I grew up in a very safe environment, completely different than what I've read of you. I almost cringe in personal shame when I read your pain.. In shame of myself and my years of sadness, when it seems I really had it good. The things you have had to go through! Wow, what strong women you are. I'm honored to know you. And blessed.

My sadness/depression came from years of just wanting to be good enough for my dad. Nothing I did seemed good enough, I didn't look good enough (in fact, was 'fat and ugly' on one occasion), not smart enough and because I dressed in black and dyed my hair, I 'must be on drugs'. Funny how a 3.98 GPA in high school and the youngest varsity softball player at my school managed to skip his view. I don't know. I never understood, although I do understand more now.

My dad is from Chile, he grew up there until he was 17. My grandmother was kind of domineering and if i'd been watching closely, I would've realized that he learned how to talk to me from her. She wasn't the most positive of women, probably a result of her dear husband dying in a car accident when they were hit by a drunk driver when he was 46. I never met my grandfather (and frankly, never heard that much about him either) but I can understand how that might make her bitter. She was bounced around between the three sons for a number of years until they couldn't deal with it anymore (my feeling) and they bought her an apartment in Florida where she lived the rest of her unhappy days. Don't get me wrong, I liked her a lot. She was just very bitter.

Back to my dad. So anyhow, he always has this tone (notice I say HAS, it's still there, I'm just dealing with it better) that is always questioning, always accusing. He is VERY opinionated and it would seem his is the only opinion. It's frustrating at the best of times but as with everything else, I've started to deal with it better.

Anyhow, I grew up with this 'tone', this feeling that I didn't really know what I was doing and it's permeated my life. It's actually causing a bit of a problem with M and I because I react to him when he gives me that 'tone'. He doesn't know what he's doing and I can't explain it, I just get defensive and angry, then he does, then we argue about it and it's still there.

Example: I am in the process of planning to paint the dining room. I am going to mix a mocha color and a creamy color to make a lighter brown/coffee shade. All he did was ask me how I was going to mix it but it sounded like 'there is no way you are going to be able to mix that, what are you thinking?'. I get defensive rather than answer him. I can't seem to answer him calmly. I automatically think that he's challenging my ability and it irks me. I'm 36 years old, I know I can do these things, yet I feel like a kid again.

The thing is, my dad never once said I did anything right. Not that I can remember. He never said, 'oh yeah, that's a good idea', when he asked me something. Of course, maybe I didn't give him time. I was too busy getting defensive!! LOL It hasn't been until recently that my dad has said anything complimentary about me. Usually he says it to M (but I'm there so I hear it too). I'm a great driver. I'm a good athlete - it's great that I like to hike and walk. It's great that I love to travel. Okay, so not too many things but I realize
he just doesn't know how to say the good things. He's just never had them said to him.

So where does that leave me? I need some answers for myself before I do something to screw this up. M is afraid to point out anything to me, to suggest anything to me to try (whether cooking or painting or tree decorating or light hanging!) because he's afraid of me taking his head off. I can understand that. I don't know what to do. I know I react although this last time, I tried to take a deep breath first. It didn't work but I'm more aware. I guess it's just something I have to work on. But if anyone has any suggestions, I'm open!

I have to say too, as a last comment, that I wonder if it's all related to my feelings last week about feeling worthless right now because I'm not accomplishing anything. If I was working or creating something, if I feel worthy, maybe I wouldn't react so much to M's suggestions. Like I need to believe that I CAN do something on my own, without anyone's help, like I used to. I don't know. Just a thought.

Anybody want to talk?

A lot of you talk about chatting together and I have no one's IM accounts (maybe there's a reason for that! LOL) . I'm wondering if anyone would like to chat occasionally and if so, maybe you could email me your chat information? There may be a small chance that I'd be online the same time as anyone else but it would be fun to 'talk' and find out a little more about you ladies. You've become my surrogate family and I appreciate you all. That's all for today.

Interesting lunch guest

Yesterday M & I went to lunch at his friends house. M used to work with Mo'C years ago - they first met about 15 years ago, I believe. So she's a really good friend to him and I like her alot. She was having a mutual friend of theirs for lunch and asked us to come along.

M had told me a bit about So'D before. He used to be a letter bomber in London for the IRA and went to prison for 15 years because of it. When M and Mo'C met S, he had just started at Trinity College to study english after his time in prison. Mo'C told me that she didn't know who he was as she opened his account that day but the next day in the paper there was a huge headline about 'Convicted IRA bomber starts Trinity College' and she saw a photo of him. She said she nearly died! She said it was a little strange getting to know him but they were, at this point, good friends. She and her husband knew he and his ex-wife fairly well.

Anyhow, this guy was really interesting. One of those people that you get to talk to that you just know is brillant. And of course, he had GREAT stories. He got involved in the IRA very young, like 15 yo or something and by 20, was the main letter bomb expert in London (a one man show, I guess).

He told us about ending up in hospital for some letter bomb that went off on him (i think), how he spent the weeks after that recovering at the house of an IRA big wig (who had been killed), being taken care of by his wife and daughters when he was 19. He told stories about their gardenshed being full of explosives and detonating equipment! About the police coming to raid the house (while he was out at Mass one Sunday, lucky for him) but not finding any of the equipment (or not recognizing it anyhow). Anyhow, he mentioned seeing one of the daughters a few weeks ago when he was helping with Mass (oh, by the way, he's studying to be a priest now) and how shocking that was!

He told us a story about running into his best friend, a childhood friend that was devoted to art and had no idea that So'C was in the IRA, on the tube in London - one of those random meetings where neither had an idea that the other was in town and they got on the same subway, at the same stop, the same car and the same time. Random occurence. He talked about that same friend later, who used to come and visit him in prison every Sunday, who eventually got taken into the police because they thought he must somehow be involved as he was a friend of So'C. But he didn't know a thing.

He told stories about his career after he went to prison. He quit the IRA after prison (I can't figure out how you 'quit' but I guess he did) and he got a degree in english and then another in Computer Science. While he was working in that degree, he was addressing Congress in the U.S in regards to the IRA and peace process in Ireland. I guess he wrote his own book as well ('The Volunteer'). He gave lectures at Trinity College in CS stuff. He had stories about Sweden and what it was like to live there (he worked there for 3 years) because it is a country that has only 2 hours daylight in the winter.. He said people become very very quiet in the winter and talked about a boss that he took the train to work with every day, someone he talked to daily during the summer, told him that most people don't talk during the winter and stopped talking to him during their trips to the office come wintertime! LOL He also said, because of that, Swedish people like to have sex alot during the winter! He said he remembers giving a presentation at work and receiving texts the next day at work, would he like to have sex? etc.

As I said, now he is studying to be a priest. He joined the seminary in August and he was talking about life there - the other would-be priests, etc. He is just one of those people who seemed to have fit alot into a very short life (I suppose prison would do that to you, force you to look at your life differently). I really, really liked him.

And in the end, he's a good person to know. He arranged to introduce me to a women friend of his who is American but has lived and worked in Ireland for years. And HE DID. He called her while he was still at lunch with us, left her a message as she was out, then an hour after he left (while we were still there) he called me and told me to call her right away and left her number. I called her and we arranged to meet today (she had to cancel but we might do it tomorrow or wednesday - tough before the holidays, i understand!). Anyhow, she may have contacts for me or not but it'll be sooo nice to meet someone who might be able to push me the right direction! I'll keep you posted...

So, it was an interesting day, I must say. Sorry if I went on with the stories, but I just found the guy so intriguing. (Of course, he didn't stop talking the whole time... but that's another story! LOL)

mmm... my honey just brought me a Baileys on crushed ice so I must go now and give him a hug. yum! bye

Arriving at equilibrium

Another day has passed and I'm feeling better. We got our Cmas tree today so by the end of the weekend, we should be all decorated! It feels good. I like it.

I moved myself and my unfinished Cmas cards into the kitchen. I sat at the dining room table, put on some music and cranked out all the remainder of my cards. I WAS working in front of the tv before. I'd get 2 cards done and I'd start watching 'Homes Under the Hammer' about people buying homes to renovate at auction and that would be it for me. Of course, they will all be late since I guess I was supposed to have them mailed out LAST week to be on time but such is life! I finished and I'm happy with that.

Today I went to the supermarket. I got to the store, drove around the parking lot, couldn't find a spot to park (and didn't see anyone leaving) so I drove to a different store that was also packed. So, I just drove home. I'd do this in the Bay Area as well. I just, for some reason, don't like to drive around waiting for parking at the mall or anywhere. I don't know... maybe its enclosed spaces or too much traffic or feeling claustrophobic... But I returned home without food and I got a 'look'. I explained what I did and then I got a frustrated sigh, like I'd done something beyond explanation, something that was 'not me'. I was surprised, as I know I can be like this. We had a long discussion and I explained where I was at - alot of what I mentioned here the other day... I hope I was clear and didn't blame him, as it certainly isn't his fault.. I think it went well. (But I still don't think he understands my driving around the parking lot and driving home but OH WELL. LOL)

Better today

Thanks to all of you for your comments, you all said something that made me feel better - all completely different yet all useful. Thank you.

I guess I'm being hard on myself. I honestly thought that moving would be a cinch - I've done it many times, I've made friends, I've driven around discovering the area, I've just 'done' and it's gotten me by. Sitting around waiting for things to happen never worked for anyone.

Yesterday felt like the bottom. I'm PMSing still so hearing a song by Seal today at the gym made me cry, for no other reason than the sweet sound of notes and vocals. For this I know there is some hormone involved. I haven't felt this way in awhile. I used to feel the way I felt yesterday ALL THE TIME. As E said though, I've learned that my circumstances are not me and I usually recover right away. Sometimes you just have to feel sorry for yourself, I guess.

Today I got a bit more organized, as I said I would. I set my alarm to wake up early, M and I ended up chatting for a long time instead of me going to the gym. Those are fantastic chats and I cherish them. It was worth staying in bed. Then I got up, made coffee, had a bit of breakfast and went to the library. I finally got my resume downloaded and was going to print it out, until I realized they didn't have the most recent MS Word software. So I just sent a copy to me so I could work on it, then access it from an internet cafe and head down to the US Embassy to see what I can find.

Next I decided some retail therapy was in order. I have been really tight with my money, since I don't have a job. I moved a savings account over here and am trying to stay within that budget. I don't even allow myself to think of my earnings from the sale of my condo, that is for another time, I don't want to dig into that. It's silly, but it's my rule. It is my savings and my 401k since I'm not working right now. But I digress. I went shopping for things for the house and Cmas gifts. I got some things for the house that we have needed for *weeks*. It bugs me that these things have been unfinished for so long. I think I'd been waiting for M to say yes before I bought them. I decided to stop waiting and just buy them. Just fixing the lightbulbs in the diningroom made me feel 100 percent better.

Then I put up the Cmas lights in the front window. I have to admit it, I don't like to consult with people about 'how does this look?'. If you aren't going to do it yourself, don't tell me how to do it. I admit it rankles me. I started putting up the lights and I started getting the suggestions from the peanut gallery. I must have given him a look because he left the room and let me do it myself! LOL
Anyhow, it's done and I feel GOOD. I'd love to get a little wreath for the door. We are getting a tree tomorrow. This will be my first Cmas decorating and I'm excited to have someone to decorate for/with.

Later I went to the gym. I DO feel better. I know that yesterday was a culmination of needing to have something to do, some sort of accomplishment, some sort of role. M isn't responsible for my happiness, I'M responsible for my happiness and if that means, getting the little jobs done, that's what it is.

So that's it for now. I'm feeling better for now. I think it will go up and down. But it feels good knowing that I have people out there who give me great support. I know I can come here and get perspective. And that's desperately what I need sometimes...

How to disappear completely

Warning: This is going to a long vomitous blog with a dash of self-disgust and self-pity. Read at your own risk.

That title is the title of a Radiohead song. I was just listening to it and thought how appropriate it is to how I feel today. Add to that a bit of PMS and you have some blubbering. And now for a very therapeutic blog. LOL

Let me just start by saying that I moved here to be with M. I sold my condo, quit my job and left my friends to be with a person I deeply love. I am happy to be here with him.. so lucky to be here with him! I know this. He is so good to me, works his butt off and loves me better than I've ever been loved before. I know how lucky I am. I am having the relationship I've always wanted to have...

In the process, I seem to be losing myself. I always joked with my friends about how they lived for their jobs. All my girlfriends identified themselves with their work, I just worked doing something I enjoyed but didn't feel tied to. But I realize now that, in a way, it defined me too. It made me feel like I was accomplishing something, like I mattered, I guess. Like I was an important member of society. Like I was learning something. Something like that. I can't tell you. I only know that right now, I feel like crap.

M has started online trading. The last 4 days he's been on the computer from 8am - 5pm, pretty much, reading and researching and checking his stocks. I think this is great in theory, I think it's a great job for him to do because if we move back to the States, or Spain, or Greece or wherever, this is a job he can take with him. But as we have only one computer, it means that any outlet I had for myself is now taken away. On top of that, it means he is here all day, only he is here all day but not with me. (I know, I sound like a spoiled child, bear with me, I know it's PMS talking) When he leaves the computer to use the bathroom, I run up and check my email and read my friends' blogs. I can't write in my own blog. Not enough time.

Sometimes when I come upstairs to get online, he slags me about not wanting to spend time with him. Don't even get me started there.. ooh, it makes me mad! I know he's joking but right now, I'm not in a joking mood. I'm in a 'I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'm feeling a little worthless and you are not making things better' mood. Monday, I went to the animal shelter. We discussed going to look for paint after I returned. I assumed it was an appt so I left my work after 2 hours to come home to find him online for another hour. So I could've stayed working and didn't and then had to wait for him. Ok, it didn't make me happy. I know it's something I have to work out, I'm not blaming him. It just made me tetchy.

I've been in a crap mood all day. I don't want to talk to him about it because well, I have. And the reality is, this is my problem. I absolutely CANNOT get my ass motivated to do ANYTHING. Somehow I can get to the gym. That's easy enough. But then I come home and have lunch, clean kitchen, straighten up house (I've cleaned like a fiend lately because it's the only thing i feel like I can control), read this book that's taking me forever, watch tv, then I don't want to go out because the traffic is bad or whatever. I mean, I have a million and one excuses. And I know I mentioned this in a post before, when I have more to do, I'm more likely to do it. When I have nothing, I can procrastinate til the cows come home. I'm procrastinating my life away currently.

(..tears..)

I feel so silly. Like I'm looking for something to be wrong with my life. when I read about the girls and their serious health issues, I feel like such a shit for complaining about this. I have NOTHING to complain about. I'm healthy. I'm living a life that many of the LDR girls would love- being with the man they love.
I'm feeling out of control..

So, I know what will happen. This PMS will go away. I will make a little list of things I can do and I will check the things off, one day at a time. Because I've been here before, depressed and feeling hopeless. I know it will go away but today, I need to talk about it. Because I feel alone here. Good night.

Agreeing to disagree

There was a contest on the radio here, to match two people together and get them married... without ever having seen each other. So, I only listened on my way to and from the gym but apparently the DJs spent some time first finding a bride. I don't actually know how they were picked or anything but she got picked. Then they proceeded to 'introduce' her on the radio in order to find a groom and finally they had the groom and they just got married today.

Of course there was a lot of discussion on the various tv morning shows, is this a mockery of the sacrament of marriage etc? So M and I were talking about it. Of course, he feels very strongly about marriage and the vows that are associated with it. I feel the same way but I have an easier time looking at another side of things... I told him that although they don't know each other, they have a certain expectation of this marriage - in theory, that they want to be together and have a family and a bit of fun, and all the other things most people want from a marriage. While most people would rather be IN LOVE, they are choosing not to do that. It's like an arranged marriage, in a way. They have an expectation of each other's role in a marriage and how they can make things work rather than an expectation in the continuation of their love for one another.

Anyhow, he got irritated with me. He thinks they just want the money and the cars the radio station is giving them. That it doesn't mean anything. Maybe so. Maybe it IS a mockery of marriage. I keep saying that there's just as much chance of this working as for two people in love, I know it's cynical but it's a fact that around 50% of the people out there are getting divorced so even the people who *think* they are doing it for the right reasons, aren't managing to make it work for whatever reason. Who are we to say that these two people won't? Maybe they will learn to love each other. Maybe they won't. It takes more than love anyway, doesn't it?

I certainly don't know. It's not something I'd do. But to each his own.

My life as a volunteer

So, I decided to volunteer for the animal shelter here. I went to the place (about 2.5 miles from here) and talked to the head guy. We agreed that I would come this past Monday although no time was discussed. I arrived about 9:30 and the receptionist told me the guy was out, he had the computer and the work that I was going to do and wouldn't be back until much later. As I had a lift home (usually I have a car at my disposal but the car was being serviced), I told her I would come in Tuesday and did she expect the head guy to be in? She said yes, he'd be there.

I went in Tuesday about 1:30pm, the receptionist said he was out, once again with the computer (they provide 24/7 service to people who are calling in about their lost pets) and he would be in around 3pm and did I want to wait? I agreed to go to the cattery and entertain a cat for a while. The facility is pretty nice, you walk into the building and there is a long hallway with cages on each wall. Basically there are 2 cages on top of each other most of the way down the hall. There is lovely music playing and each cage has an exit to the outside, where the cats can wander out for a play (they have all sorts of scratch posts etc) if it wasn't 5 degrees C out. Brrr. My lovely shy cat is Munka (she looks like Bucky, S) and she is in a cage on the top. She's crouched at the back of the cage but seems to like it a bit when I start petting her - certainly she isn't adverse to a scratch and rub. She likes it. But she keeps moving out of her reach and as far as I know, this is only place I can 'play' with her, so I wait while she comes back into reach and I give her another scratch. In between times, the little cat below me (a black/white smallish looking cat) is trying to get my attention - he's got his paws sticking out of the only place I could possibly get my fingers, so I'm trying to give him a scratch. He seems more interested after all. Finally, I give Munka another go, for whatever reason she BITES me and I finally decide this isn't really for me on this particular day (I'm really a dog person anyway). I wait a bit longer for the head guy and he is delayed now until 3:30pm. I say I'll come tomorrow at 11am, will he be there? yes, he will. of course, you guessed it, he was not.

But fortunately there was something for me to do. I input some information, old records into their database, which is fine. But the whole time I was doing this, probably 2 hours or so, the rest of the staff was literally DOING NOTHING. Chit chatting, laughing, whatever. I know, while the cats away the mice will play, so I can't really blame them. But I can't help wondering if it's like this all the time... If it is, it's no wonder they need volunteers to do their work! LOL. I'll keep you posted. But if my first few days were any indication of the organization of this outfit, I'll probably be looking for a new volunteer position soon.

Still got a lot to learn about relationships..

Well, I'm coming up to that time of year... Christmas cards. I actually got organized and bought some. I've been struggling a bit lately. Since I've been here, I've sent a couple birthday cards, signed Love, A. My other half asked, after I'd already sent them, did you include me? Chagrined, I said, no, I forgot. ((blushing)). A month or more went by. Thanksgiving came, I sent a big happy
T-Day email to everyone in my address book, signed, Love, A. M said, later of course, did you send it from me as well? Again, I blushed, embarrassed because I'd again forgotten my other half! I've spent 36 years buying my cards and signing my name and I've never had anyone in my life long enough to include their name... And now I do and I can't remember to do it! I feel a bit of a loser about it too. Should I be remembering by now? I'm sure I probably should. Definitely now that it's happened twice, I can't forget. I bought the Christmas cards, I have the pen ready and in the back of mind, I WILL remember to sign it, Love A and M. I can do it! I know I can... (I hope) Wish me luck!

Embarrassing Moment #5,976,432

When I was arranging to move over here, I changed all my address information to my parents house. Therefore, my parents receive my mail and help me with various things when I ask them. One of the things they have been helping me with is getting my health insurance sorted out. After almost 3 months, the provider I'm working with is finally getting the paperwork in order. Apparently, they contacted my medical center, received my medical records and are going through them as I write..

One of the things in my records lists an embarrassing thing that I contracted in college (as far as I know, I haven't had it since but I don't actually remember). Anyhow, they sent the paperwork to my parents house, asking for more detailed information and my dad emailed me for the details. He will then fill out the form and mail it back.

This particular item is a bit brutal. I of course never mentioned the episode to my parents because it was sexually related and we just don't talk about that stuff! But here I found myself having to type out the details I remembered to my DAD! omigosh! I was thoroughly redfaced although to his credit, he didn't give me a hard time about it (a first!).. LOL

Now, hopefully they won't ask about my emergency room visit after a motorcycle accident I had that my parents know NOTHING about it. Sometimes, what they don't know is really a blessing!